Finding My Voice, Changing Lives
The author speaking at a school.
By Dina Zuckerberg
As I stood before a crowd of 100 middle school students presenting my talk, I felt a range of emotions: Elated. Vulnerable. Nervous. Apprehensive.
I openly shared my story of growing up with a craniofacial condition and all the struggles that came along with it, especially at school. I talked about how I sat alone on the school bus and in the cafeteria. I revealed how I was teased and picked last for team sports in gym class. The kids said I had “cooties.” I shared how I wished I had upstanders in my life, people who stood up for me.
“I revealed how I was teased and picked last for team sports in gym class. The kids said I had “cooties.” I shared how I wished I had upstanders in my life, people who stood up for me.”
I was the Director of Family Programs at myFace, and I had to come to the school to share my personal story and talk to the students.
However, if anyone had told me then that I would be revealing my past to these particular students and loving it, I would have said “no way, you’re crazy.” Especially since I had been a student at this very school from kindergarten through the ninth grade. And I was describing how I was treated at this very place.
I was born with a cleft lip, hearing loss and no vision in one eye. From the time I was three, I wore a hearing aid. I had six surgeries, years of orthodontics and speech therapy. Although I had challenges, through the unwavering support of my parents, I continue to be unstoppable. I can drive a car, ski, play the piano, and more.
My desire to visit schools and present my story came after reading the young adult novel Wonder, by R.J. Palacio. The book centers around Auggie Pullman, a ten-year-old boy born with Treacher Collins syndrome, who is homeschooled until the fifth grade. “I won’t tell you what I look like, but whatever you are thinking it’s probably worse,” says Auggie. Throughout the book, Auggie grows to experience his own power as his life transforms.
I so deeply connect with Auggie when I think of my own middle school experience. The more my voice was silenced in school, the more powerless I felt. I withdrew.
Yet, sharing my stories with the students has helped me transform and find my voice. I feel so strongly that I never want any child to experience what I did growing up. I have grown to understand how I need to use my voice to educate others. And the more comfortable I have become to divulge how my voice was silenced, the more I can make a difference.
Once, when I presented at a school and showed my hearing aid to the students, one boy raised his hand. He was so excited to share that he also wore hearing aids. I was the first young person he met who wore a hearing aid like he did. That connection meant everything to him and he was beaming with pride.
When I visit schools, I share how I wish I had an upstander. I love the word, upstander. For me, it means when you experience an injustice like someone being bullied, you take a stand to make it right. When you see someone sitting alone in the lunchroom, you choose to sit with them. When you see a child being picked on, you take that child out of the situation and ask if they would like to walk to class with you. If you see someone standing alone, a simple smile and “hello” can make all the difference.
At a school assembly, when I stated that I wished I had more upstanders in my life, a boy raised his hand. With tears in his eyes, he confessed that just the week before, he witnessed a boy being teased. The boy talked about how he regretted his decision not to stand up for him. However, from that day forward, he would be an upstander and stand up for others.
Since that school day, I have shared my story in over 375 schools reaching over 100,000 students through the Wonder Project, a program I have created at myFace. For more than 70 years, myFace, a non-profit organization dedicated to transforming the lives of individuals with craniofacial differences and their families, provides access to support and resources so they know they are not alone on their journey.
Many times after presenting in schools, the students cheer and give me a standing ovation. And I think of Auggie’s wise words, “Everyone in the world should get a standing ovation at least once in their life because we all overcometh the world.”
Sometimes I can’t believe I am sharing my deeply personal story, the message of choosing kindness, and what it means to be an upstander. AND I continue to love it. Yet, here I am wanting to visit more and more schools through the Wonder Project and connect with students because I see the impact I have on them. As much as I teach them, they teach me so much too.
The Wonder Project includes an in-person or virtual assembly by individuals with craniofacial differences, activities and lessons centered around compassion and empathy, along with inspiring stories from kids with craniofacial differences.
“Courage. Kindness. Friendship. Character,” writes Palacio in Wonder. “These are the qualities that define us as human beings, and propel us, on occasion, to greatness.” I think of the journey I have taken so far and how it embodies so many of those qualities. In the process, I have learned so much about myself.
Looking back, I wish that kids didn’t tease me and exclude me when I was growing up. I wish I didn’t need to have surgeries. I wish that things weren’t so hard. But if not for those experiences, I wouldn’t be the person I am today. And then I think, maybe I am exactly where I was meant to be.
To learn more about the Wonder Project, please visit www.myFace.org/Wonder.
About the Author
Dina Zuckerberg is the Director of Family Programs at myFace.org. She is also the host of the myFace, myStory podcast which can be found on YouTube, Apple Podcasts and wherever else you listen to podcasts.