Sex & the IDDy

by Sherri Eldin

Given the subject/theme of this column, reader discretion is advised. 

Welcome to “Sex & the IDDy,”  HELEN’s newest column! Yes, the title is a play on words on the  HBO series that reached its peak popularity during my formative years. But it also concisely communicates that we’ll be discussing sexuality of and for people living with IDD and other disabilities. (A common abbreviation for people living with disabilities is PLWD which I’ll use from now on.) 

My goal for this introductory article was to share what inspired this column’s creation—at least  in part, since there are so many inspirations—as well as the vision for its future. And as I brainstormed, I found myself reflecting upon topics that had long since crossed my mind. A  prominent thought that I could not shake: I couldn’t name any popular fashion magazines with  regular mention of PLWD in its many articles about sex, which frequently saturate most of each  issue. I couldn’t recall a single “15 New Sex Positions You Have to Try” feature addressing how  any one of those positions could be adapted. Just a few words is all I wanted, but I was drawing  a blank.  

Rest assured that this will be a column devoting 100% of its sexual content to PLWD. I  acknowledge that at least a handful of people are thinking: Is there really need for such a  focused column? Yes! And I’ll tell you why. 

Sexuality in and of itself is a heavy topic, even for our neuro- and fisica-typical counterparts, with  things to consider like gender identity, sexual orientation, consent, STIs, losing one’s  virginity...the list goes on. For PLWD, there is so much more to consider, so many thoughts and  feelings to be had, and frequently all at once. Sex and sexuality can be scary, yet exciting; pose  challenges, yet allow us freedoms never-before experienced; yield frustration, yet affirmation. 

It’s time we talk about it. All of it. Out in the open, honestly, and unapologetically. 

We’ll accomplish this through a series of articles and interviews, written by me and by others.  Some you might know as long-standing figures of the AADMD. Some will be new friends who we  hope will become old friends. Whatever the case, we’ll all be here for the same reason: to  increase visibility and acknowledgement of PLWD as sexual beings, with the goal of creating a  world where we can all live as such. 

Stay sexy my friends,

Sherri