Listening to the Quiet: A Parent’s Journey Through Neurodivergence, Education, and Hope
Kristine with son Joaquim, 8, during the pandemic lockdown
By Kristine Santayana
He was just a year and a half when I first felt it—the sudden distance in his eyes. It was like a curtain had quietly fallen between us. His babbling slowed, then stopped. The words he had begun to say disappeared, and in their place came long hours of spinning, flicking, and silence. I didn’t know what to call it then, only that I was losing the boy I thought I knew…
I was in denial at first. Angry even. I tried to bring him back to the child I had imagined, bargaining with routines, prayers, flashcards, and fear. It would take months—years, even— before I could begin to accept that he had not left me. He was still here. I just needed to learn how to meet him where he was. Today, he’s a teenager—tall, curious, wonderfully unique—and I’m still learning every day how to listen, adapt, and advocate with love.
In the Philippines, conversations about neurodivergence are still catching up. Autism spectrum disorder (ASD), ADHD, and other learning differences are often mischaracterized as behavioral problems or “phases,” especially in traditional school environments. Diagnosis is expensive, and early intervention is inconsistent across socioeconomic groups. Many families, like ours, stumble through confusion and stigma before they find language for their child’s needs.
“I dream of a future where every neurodivergent child in the Philippines has access to quality, inclusive education—where special needs schools, blended learning, and community-based training are part of the norm. Inspired by U.S. models of individualized education and transition planning, we can create systems that truly prepare our children for life.”
Even now, education systems present a different challenge. And as our children grow, the lack of life skills programs and supported transitions becomes painfully clear. We are not just fighting for academic access—we are fighting for our children’s futures.
With Winston Jerome Luna, Chairman of St. Jerome School
Our Family’s Journey
As a single mom, raising my teen has been a journey of trial and error—always in search of the right fit. We’ve tried different diets, schools, therapists, and approaches. Some worked for a while, others didn’t. What held us together was unconditional love and acceptance, the support of my brothers, family and close friends, and the decision to take it one day at a time.
Healing his gut, supporting his physical health, and building his emotional regulation became as important as academics. We shifted our focus to life skills—doing errands, managing feelings, learning to communicate —as the true foundation of independence.
With Clarissa Sayson, Assistant Superintendent of International School Manila and Winston Jerome Luna
I’ve also learned that waiting for the system to change isn’t enough. We needed to build alongside it. That’s why I began the work of creating a private special education school, The Santayana School— for my son, and for families like ours. Advocacy, I’ve come to realize, isn’t always loud. Sometimes, it looks like planting a seed close to home.
What Needs to Change
Change must happen at both the systemic and grassroots levels. While the Department of Education’s mandate to include neurodivergent learners in mainstream education is a step forward, implementation remains uneven. Schools like the International School Manila and St. Jerome School are already in this journey, and face deep-rooted cultural barriers—shifting mindsets is just as vital as building infrastructure.
Educators need training and resources. Government policies must be matched with funding and accountability. The private sector has a role, too, in opening opportunities and embracing inclusive hiring practices. Communities must evolve to support not just children, but the families who walk this path with them.
At the heart of change are parents—when we organize, collaborate with professionals, and support one another, we become a force for transformation. Inclusion is not a policy—it is a shared responsibility.
My Vision of the Future
I dream of a future where every neurodivergent child in the Philippines has access to quality, inclusive education—where special needs schools, blended learning, and community-based training are part of the norm. Inspired by U.S. models of individualized education and transition planning, we can create systems that truly prepare our children for life.
But we can’t do it alone. This is a vision that will resonate with The Santayana School—a space built for hope, dignity, and possibility. Inclusion starts with action, and action begins with us.
Rooted in the values of Love, Excellence, and Positivity, the school will be dedicated to empowering neurodivergent learners to live meaningful and independent lives. We will offer individualized programs for ages 8 to 17, integrating multiple intelligences with emotional intelligence, balanced academics and sports, life skills, nutrition, and essential therapy support.
Every aspect of the learning journey is designed to honor each child’s uniqueness and build a path toward lasting independence and self-worth.
Every child deserves to be seen, supported, and prepared for life—not just for school. I’ve learned that inclusion begins in the heart, then it must be followed by action.
About the Author
Kristine Santayana is a leadership and strategy consultant with over 20 years of experience across Asia Pacific and globally. She is the Managing Director of Quintegral Philippines and Sales Director for APAC. An American Management Association Facilitator and Executive/Life Coach, she brings structure, passion, and creativity into every learning space. Kristine is a mom to Joaquim, 14, and founder of the upcoming The Santayana School. She lives in Parañaque, Metro Manila, the Philippines. You may reach her at kristine@quintegral.com.